Asian Animals That Will Kill You

If you find yourself lost and alone in an Asian jungle somewhere you’re pretty much done for. From giant reptiles that can tear you in half to man-eating tigers, join us as we take a look at Asian animals that will kill you.

5. Komodo Dragon

These lumbering death machines are only found on a few Indonesian islands. They are the largest living species of lizard, growing up to 3 metres in length and weighing up to 70kgs.

The Komodo Dragon hunts using a stealthy approach, often hiding in long grasses. When its prey is close enough it will charge, snapping its powerful jaws at the animal’s throat. Komodo Dragon saliva is teeming with bacteria and it is thought that they use this to their advantage waiting until an infection sets in killing their prey – they’ll often stalk an infected animal for days waiting for it to die.

Due to their flexible jaws and expandable stomachs, Komodo Dragons can swallow prey whole. They’ve been seen in the wild ramming entire goats down their throats by smashing the carcasses up against trees.

There are a number of terrifying stories of Komodo attacks against humans. One Indonesian villager reported seeing his nephew torn in half after hearing screams from the jungle. Another frightening account tells of a captive Komodo in the LA Zoo ripping Actress Sharon Stone’s ex-husband’s foot in half.

We give these deadly dragons a 5 on the Slapped Ham deathometre. We’ll all be fine as long as we stay off a select few islands in Indonesia.

4. Fattail Scorpion

These bad boys are known to be one of the most deadly species of Scorpion on the planet and with the genus name Androctonus, meaning man-killer, you know they’re open for business. DEATH BUSINESS!

Found throughout arid and semi-arid regions of the middle-east, these scorpions are known by their distinct fat tail. A sting from one of these death peddlers can cause widespread numbness, blurred vision, difficulty breathing, seizures and ultimately death if left untreated.

These venom merchants get a seizure-inducing 6 on the Slapped Ham deathometre!

3. Asian Giant Hornet

Also affectionately known as the yak-killer, these giant insects are not to be messed with. Native to temperate and tropical East Asia these are the world’s largest hornets.

If provoked, these massive creatures can inject extremely potent venom that can cause anaphylactic shock, cardiac arrest and multiple organ failure. One researcher described the sting as though a hot nail was being driven into his leg. If the stung victim is allergic to the venom it can mean almost certain death. In Japan the death toll from the Asian Giant Hornet is around 30 to 40 people per year while in the Shaanxi Province in China more than 1500 people are injured each year by these flying death dispensers.

The Asian Giant Hornet stings its way to a 7 on the Slapped Ham deathometre.

2. Bengal Tiger

These wild beasts can and will swipe your face clean off your skull. Primarily found in India, the Bengal Tiger inhabits tropical forests, some grasslands and the mangroves of Sundarbans between India and Bangladesh.

These majestic creatures can weigh up to 325kg with a body length of 320cm. Their hunting style primarily uses stealth as they’ll stalk their prey from long grasses before pouncing for the throat. They’ll then drag the carcass to a shady area and consume up to 45kg of flesh in one sitting.

If a Bengal Tiger becomes weak, old or injured they often turn to humans as a food source. Man-eating tigers are responsible for more human deaths through direct attack than any other wild animal. In the early 1900s more than 1000 people died every year from Tiger attacks throughout India. One legendary tiger known as the Champawat Tiger killed around 430 people alone. The tigress became so fearsome that the Nepalese army were called in to put a stop to the killing spree. They were unable to stop her but managed to push her out of her territory. Then in 1907 British hunter Jim Corbett managed to hunt and kill the notorious predator by following a bloody trail of severed limbs that the tigress had left behind after killing a 16 year old girl.

With this terrifying information in mind the Bengal Tiger gets a limb-severing 8 on the Slapped Ham deathometre

1. Malayan Krait or Blue Krait

With venom 16 times more power than that of a Cobra these slithering assassins will mess you right up.

Found throughout South-East Asia, Kraits are a nocturnal breed and tend to hunt under the cover of darkness. When provoked they are known to be very aggressive and will hunt and cannibalise other snakes. Once bitten, its victims will experience nausea, vomiting and headaches followed by a period of intense muscle spasms and cramps ultimately leading to paralysis. Krait venom is so toxic that 50% of bites are fatal even when the anti-venom is administered. If the victim makes it to hospital there is still a risk of severe brain damage and coma. Death usually occurs 6-12 hours after a Krait bite.

The Blue Krait is so deadly it gets a your f%$#ed on the Slapped Ham deathometre.