7. Water Wiennie
If your creepy uncle gives you this for Christmas and suggests you wet each other with your water wiennies, I’d suggest you call some kind of helpline. This is what you call a grooming present.
6. Flying Poop Toilet
What is with poop related toys these days? From what we can gather, this Japanese toy fires little poops out of a selection of coloured toilets. I’m not really sure what you’d use this toy for, fire off a couple of stinkers, chuckle mildly, then put it straight in the bin? Let’s hope kids don’t take this literally and start firing their poops out of real toilets.
5. Mower and Dad
Apparently mowing the lawn is so much fun they had to make a toy out of it. This is a remote control dad. That’s all it is. It’s a dad, pushing a mower. A few words come to mind when I look at this ‘toy’ – tedious, dull, beige.
4. Golden Penis Putter
On a scale of one to weird toys, this is right up there!
For the discerning golfer that needs to work on their short game. The golden penis putter is a discrete, personal putter that works great on both the front and back nine, allowing you to putt more than just balls into the hole.
3. Cry Baby Yume-Chan
The brains down at Japanese toy company Tomy have come up with a new way to terrify children. Yume-Chan is a doll that cries watery tears when you inject it with a giant hypodermic needle. There’s nothing like introducing and reinforcing unnecessary fears to children at a young age.
2. Am I Like Father?
Admittedly this weird toy was manufactured back in the 50s, so there’s little chance you’ll get it for Christmas – but that’s a good thing. This prop cigarette prompted children to practice smoking just like their dads. It came with one fake cigarette, what looks like a replacement filter and a box of ‘pirate’ matches with a depiction of native Americans on the front. I guess you had to start them early back in the 50s.
1. My Cleaning Trolley
If you want to enforce gender stereotypes onto your daughters nice and early then this is the gift to get this Christmas. This piece of crap comes with a vacuum, a mop, a broom and some other cleaning paraphernalia. If the manufacturer’s agenda wasn’t clear enough, it even says ‘girls only’ on the box.
So there’s our list of 15 weird toys you don’t want to get this Christmas. Did this listicle of weird toys make you want to write a new Christmas wish list? If so, let us know on Twitter and Facebook.