10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time

These Crimes Are Just Plain Silly

From a burglar that fell asleep while robbing a house to a man that posed as a child to get into high school, we count the 10 dumbest criminals of all time.

10. The Phantom Crapper

Toilet outside shop - 10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time


In 2016, a man was wanted for repeatedly defecating outside a convenience store in Dublin, Ireland. After reviewing the CCTV footage, shop owner Alan Buckley couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “The first one was just horrible, the smell and all. You’d swear a horse did it. If I hadn’t seen him do it on CCTV, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

The Phantom Crapper was seen pulling up in a car in the middle of the night, dropping his load, then driving away. He wasn’t in a hurry either, sometimes spending more than 45 minutes outside the shop before taking off.

“It’s very upsetting, you’d want to have your breakfast before you come in because you’ll not eat again after looking at it,” the shop owner added.

Fed up with the culprit’s behavior, Buckley actually placed a toilet and rolls of paper outside the shop. Never one to miss a sales opportunity, Buckley added, ‘We have the cheapest toilet roll in town.’

9. The Hangover

One boxing glove - 10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time

In 2012, a drunken man leaped onto the hood of a Sacramento police officer’s car while the officer was still inside. Wearing a sombrero and one boxing glove, the man stood on the car repeatedly shouting his own name. The man fled the scene but was found by officers a short time later, passed out in a nearby street.

8. Smooth or Crunchy?

Peanut butter - 10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time

In 2012, a man by the name of Andrew Toothman broke into a Food World IGA in Kentucky. Toothman, who was wearing nothing but a pair of boots at the time, emptied all the store’s fire extinguishers before writing the word ‘sorry’ using NyQuil on the supermarket’s floor. He then proceeded to smear himself from head to toe in peanut butter and chocolate.

Toothman was eventually found by officers lying naked on the floor of the supermarket covered in the sticky goop. The perpetrator admitted to breaking into the store and was arrested on multiple charges including indecent exposure, burglary, and criminal mischief. All of these crimes could be seen as misdemeanors, however, it is a lot better to have someone like this philadelphia criminal lawyer on your side if you are ever charged with any of these offenses.

7. Payin’ in Gators

Alligator in Wendy's - 10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time


In 2015, a man by the name of Joshua James threw an almost 4-foot alligator through the drive-thru window of a Wendy’s restaurant in West Palm Beach Florida. James reportedly pulled up to get his order and shoved the alligator through the window as the server turned around to get his drink.

He allegedly found the gator on the side of the road and thought it would be funny to play a prank on a friend who worked at the restaurant. He was eventually sentenced to a year of probation after being charged with several felonies including assault with a deadly weapon.

The gator was released back into a nearby canal.

6. Shaved Pussy…Cat

Shaved cat - 10 Dumbest Criminals Of All Time

In 2016, a mysterious criminal began targeting cats living in the villages of the Cotswolds in the UK. Owners were surprised to discover that their pets were returning home with patches of fur shaved off.

One resident named Mandy Felton, believed that the perpetrator may have had a ‘vendetta’ against cats. While another local, John Kerry said he was left ‘mystified’ by the appearance of his ginger tabby Beau, who was shaved four times in one month.

The culprit was believed to have shaved as many as 10 animals in the area and was never caught despite an investigation from the RSPCA and involvement of the local police.

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