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10 Weird Food Mascots That Are Not to Be Trusted

These are some bizarre mascots!

5. The California Raisins

 

The California Raisins are a fictional, Emmy award winning band made to sell raisins. They were created in 1986 to help promote the fruit. Members AC, Beebop, Red and Stretch were even the subject of a mockumentary to help the fans of these beloved raisins get to know the band members better, and their entertainment empire stretched across films, video games, albums and merchandise of everything you can think of, including lunchboxes. One of their films won an Emmy, and the mockumentary was nominated. The California Raisins were retired in 1994 when their production cost was double the amount of profit the raisin growers were earning.

4. Subman

 

Subman is the mascot for Subway and is basically a human-sized sub with abs. You can buy three variations of Subman from Fresh Ideas, Inc, including original Subman, Super Sub (bigger abs), and Subway Dude (cooler abs). Subman doesn’t appear to have a personality like the other mascots on this list, rather he is just an empty shell, a fillings-less sub, if you will. He appears to only exist as a costume that anyone can buy. But maybe that’s the beauty of Subman, anyone can become a sandwich with abs, or bigger abs, or cooler abs.

Still an anthropomorphic sandwich with great abs is little more safe for the community than their last mascot.

3. Big Boy

 

The Big Boy mascot was modelled on a real child, Richard Woodruff, who was six years old when he was at his local Big Boy restaurant in 1937. Back then the restaurant was named Bob’s Pantry and when Richard walked in, owner Bob Wian said ‘hello big boy’ to him and the company’s whole image was born. At first glance, Big Boy doesn’t seem creepy. He’s just a normal statue of a kid holding a burger. But then you stare at his eyes, keep staring, and then you start to wonder. Why is he always looking to the left? What’s he looking at? Why does his face look so empty? Am I safe?

2. Kool-Aid Man

 

Kool-Aid Man is another one of these mascots that wants us to consume him. He’s a big jug of red Kool-Aid (wearing a jacket and pants, of course) who loves to smash through walls and get people to drink him. Which again, is confusing motivation. He shouts ‘Oh yeah!’ after smashing through walls and offers people a jug of Kool-Aid. But where did he get that liquid is what we want to know. Is it from his own head? Did he murder another lesser, weaker Kool-Aid man to get it? And what’s with all the wall smashing?

1. Dairy Queen Lips

 

Dairy Queen used to advertise with Dennis the menace comics, but then they found that modern kids really couldn’t relate to him anymore and so they decided to bring in the most obvious choice: a big floating pair of animated red lips. The lips lasted a few years, until in 2011 they were retired once Dairy Queen realised that most American children had whole faces, and even bodies, and were not in fact simply a pair of lips.

So there’s our list of the weirdest food mascots. Did this listicle make you hungry or just creeped out? Let us know on Twitter and Facebook.

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Alison Evans

Alison is the author of the YA book Ida and the co-editor of the zine Concrete Queers. You can find them on Twitter as @_budgie, or on their website alisonwritesthings.com
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