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10 Weird Food Mascots That Are Not to Be Trusted

These are some bizarre mascots!

These are some bizarre food mascots. From the super-creepy, original Ronald McDonald to the Quiznos Spongemonkeys, join us as we take a look at 10 weird food mascots that are not to be trusted.

10. Quiznos Spongmonkeys

 

Quiznos is an American fast-food chain that makes toasted sub sandwiches. Some years ago they commissioned an ad featuring bizarre creatures called spongmonkeys. What’s a spongmonkey? Something like a cross between a rat and a hamster that sings. And by all accounts something you don’t want near your food. Quiznos reports that one of their employees was emailed an original spongmonkey video in 2003 and thought that they would make the perfect mascots to promote their subs, because of course rat-looking creatures would.

9. Mister Softee

 

Mister Softee sells ice cream. Or rather, his own brains. He is the mascot for the ice cream truck company of the same name, established in 1956 in the US. Mister Softee has a human body, but his face is made of a waffle cone and his brain is made of soft serve. At first glance, everything seems fine. A guy made out of ice cream trying to sell ice cream, seems legit. But the part that grosses us out the most is that the ice cream is specifically his brains and the motivation behind that. Why does he want us so desperately to eat his brains? Is he some kind of reverse zombie, so that when we eat his brains we’ll be addicted to his delicious grey matter?

8. The Original Ronald McDonald

 

The modern Ronald McDonald is scary enough, some random guy in a clown costume on TV, or a plastic man sitting on a bench waiting for you to sit on his lap. But the very first Ronald was born in 1963. Check out the original TV commercial above where we first see him sitting in the dark, watching television. The lights turn on and he’s wearing a tray for a hat, a cup for a nose and is inviting us to take hamburgers and fries from a shelf above his crotch. Yum!

7. Gobbledok

 

The Smiths Snackfood company is a British and Australian manufacturing company owned by parent company PepsiCo. They’re probably best known for their potato chips and the abominable food mascot they created in the late 80’s.

The gobbledok arrived from the potato planet in 1987, presumably to find the tastiest chips on planet Earth, which just so happen to be Smiths chips. He watches people through their windows or even a telescope he’s set up on a roof in search of people eating chips. When he sees Smiths, he races through town and people’s houses to steal them from the unsuspecting earth folk – shrieking ‘chippies’!

Considering he’d come all the way from another planet, he would probably be better off getting a job and buying them in bulk, but then that would be much less creepy and really, wouldn’t sell as many chips.

6. Jack Box

 

Jack I. Box is the mascot for the American fast-food company Jack in the Box. The story goes that Jack was fired from his position as CEO in 1993 and then, without his leadership to guide the chain, 732 people were infected with E. coli. 178 people were permanently injured by the outbreak, and four people died. Jack in the Box then released an ad killing the current board of the company and him taking back control. The slogan: Jack’s back. Look into his huge wide soulless face, you definitely don’t want to cross Jack anytime soon.

 

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Alison Evans

Alison is the author of the YA book Ida and the co-editor of the zine Concrete Queers. You can find them on Twitter as @_budgie, or on their website alisonwritesthings.com
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