Weddings are bizarre enough, full of quirky traditions that we just accept as normal – white dresses, rings, eternal vows. But what if we covered the groom in feathers or ate leftovers out of a toilet? Then we’re dealing with a whole other level of bizarre wedding traditions. So get comfy, this is how cultures around the world celebrate their nuptials.
In Scotland there exists a hilariously messy wedding tradition in which the groom is captured by his friends. First he is stripped naked and tied to a pole then covered head-to-toe in a sticky mix of treacle, flour, feathers and sometimes garbage. Once the groom is suitably filthified he is thrown in the back of a truck and paraded around town. The captors make as much noise as possible, banging drums, screaming and chanting with the aim of brining as much humiliation to the groom as possible. Everyone involved gets terrifically drunk and the festivities usually end with a freezing dip in the ocean. It is thought that if you can withstand this harsh treatment then you can deal with all that marriage has to offer.
Have you thought about marrying a tree?
Throughout India it is believed that women born under certain astrological signs are thought to condemn their first husband to an early death. Mangal Dosha is a believed astrological combination that occurs when Mars is in the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 7th, 8th or 12th house of the ascendant chart (You should all know this). A person born under these conditions is known as a manglik. When a manglik is to be married, in order to avoid tragedy they must first marry a banana tree or peepal tree. The misfortune of the manglik curse is said to be transferred to the tree instead of their husband to be. The tree is felled and burnt in a ceremony and the bride and groom can happily get married without fear of stellar doom prophecies.
No Toilet Post Wedding
In some parts of Indonesia it is tradition for the bride and groom to abstain from using the toilet for three days after their wedding. Family members keep a close eye on the newlyweds to make sure they don’t pee or poop. It is thought that if the couple fails the challenge bad luck will fall upon their marriage, they will be unhappy and their future children may become sick or die.
Well nothing quite says ‘I love you’ like holding in a big, fat turd and accidently peeing the bed on your honey moon. That’s amore.
Romanian Bride Stealing
In Romania it is becoming popular to abduct the bride mid-wedding party without the groom knowing. Friends of the bride will storm the festivities dressed in balaclavas, brandishing fake guns. It’s common to take the newlywed to a popular tourist spot and have pictures taken with the mock-abductors. She is then held for ransom. To get her back, the groom must offer a few bottles of whiskey or confess his love publicly to win his bride back from the pseudo-terrorists.
La Poop Soup
In ancient times, a French wedding custom involved the bride and groom eating and drinking out of a toilet. After the festivities of the wedding, the bride and groom would leave for their suite while friends and relatives would clean up. The attendees would go about collecting all the leftover food, dregs of beer and wine, even garbage which they would then put into a chamber pot toilet for the newlyweds to eat and drink from. It was thought that the meal would give fuel for the honeymoon shenanigans – that’s some aphrodisiac. In modern times, chocolate and champagne replace the garbage soup but it’s still eaten out of a toilet. Mmmm yummo.